Monday, July 18, 2011
Although we have been supported generously by our wonderful (and quite frankly, wise) benefactors which include the likes of Henry's Bananas and our fine friends over at The Ninja Turtles Initiative, us geniuses over here at TCE are finally doin' it. The constant pleading of the execs of Microsoft has become too much, and out of pity we have accepted their lukewarm offer. There those nerdy cunts leaned down in front of Kevyn and I, their bare buttoms quivering and hastily rubbing against our fine cocks. "Please, join us here at Microsoft!" They farted a bit as they spoke. "We will do anything, you can rape our fuckin' arses, just sign this and we will reward you!" Kevyn and I pondered vigorously and handsomely, and eventually succumbed to their fine offers of wealth and homosexuality.
So, what can you expect now, from TCE? MICROSOFT GAME REVIEWS! Neither Me nor Kevyn have an Xbox, but thats alright, because we have the completely bonkers ability of making shit up, just like our pals over at IGN! (By the by, have you ever wondered what IGN must stand for? Must be IGnoraNt!) We will also be part of the design team over at Microsoft, giving helpful input into new ideas for fresh games, such as "Make s'more Burger King games!" and "It's really God damn hot in here!". Other bright ideas we may share with our cohorts include convincing the continually sobbing Peter Molyneux into believing that his shitty Milo thing is only a tech demo and calling the next Halo game This is the Last One Guys, We Are Fucking Serious This is the Last Halo and then make another sequel and call it Haha, You Fucking Dickheads Better Believe Halo Is Back!
But alas, Crogafans, we will keep you posted on the newest situations (or the "Sitch, Wade!") on what is crappening over at Microsoft when we visit our new offices on Saturday. Keep your calendars planned and your dicks in hand!