Welcome, true believers!

GREETINGS, SPACE DUCK READERS!

Hey there guys! Some of you are going to be here because of Space Duck, and that's pretty great. I'm going to warn you right now though, that a lot of the stuff here is pretty rude, so if you're under the age of 15 or easily offended you shouldn't read the other articles we've got here.

In the new year I will launch a nice new swanky website that will be fun for the entirety of your family, but for now you can join the Space Duck page on Facebook for any handy new updates.

You might also like to keep an eye on Crogabond.tumblr.com for little bite-sized updates of art from me, Kevyn Stott.

Thanks a lot to all of you for making Space Duck a success.

Doctor Videogames

It's time for everyone's favourite videogames based medical practitioner; Doctor Videogames!

A list of things Crogabond hates

Let me paint a picture a picture for you: your alarm wakes you up at 7:30 one morning, and you are dead. Well, shit. Fuck! There you are, silver and see through, your waist growing smaller until it is but a wisp. You hover above your body. What the fuck do I do now? Goodness fucking gracious! You yell at yourself, but it doesn't work. You float through the wall, and rather than seeing a town still asleep, with only few awaken by the bitter siren of work or insomnia, you see something else. What are all these other fucking ghosts doing out here?

It's just going to be one of those days, you suppose. One of those days... you hate.

Here is a list of things Crogabond hates.

• Babies. Babies cry, and they bitch. Of course, Crogabond was once a baby, but he fixed that by not being a baby. Are you a baby?
• Boxing gloves. What kind of joker uses boxing gloves? If you wanna box, here's what you gotta do; get a box. And then punch someone wiTH YOUR BARE FISTS YOU FUCKING COWARD.
• Cartoons. What, you wanna watch baby shows? Are you a baby? Go shove Porky Pig up your ass, baby.
• Anime. Cartoons for ugly people.
• Blu-ray. Crogabond doesn't know what this is, but it sounds like a soul musician from the 80s.
• Conventions. Strange people like to meet up at these places and do weird shit. You need to go to a convention, alright - a facelift convention!
• Furries. Much like the Blu-ray, Crogabond doesn't know what this is. He just knows that he doesn't want to be any part of it.
• Video games. Stop having acne and enrol into the army, you suckers.
• Dolls. You call them action figures? Seriously? Crogabond likes to suck the life out of Tom Cruise and then play out Mission Impossible with his lifeless body. That is what he calls action figures. 
• Some dinosaurs suck too I guess

Additionally, here is a list of things Crogabond is at peace with.

• Other dinosaurs are pretty sweet
• Skateboards
• Crowns

Both lists are subject to change.

CROGABOND SELLS OUT!

Although we have been supported generously by our wonderful (and quite frankly, wise) benefactors which include the likes of Henry's Bananas and our fine friends over at The Ninja Turtles Initiative, us geniuses over here at TCE are finally doin' it. The constant pleading of the execs of Microsoft has become too much, and out of pity we have accepted their lukewarm offer. There those nerdy cunts leaned down in front of Kevyn and I, their bare buttoms quivering and hastily rubbing against our fine cocks. "Please, join us here at Microsoft!" They farted a bit as they spoke. "We will do anything, you can rape our fuckin' arses, just sign this and we will reward you!" Kevyn and I pondered vigorously and handsomely, and eventually succumbed to their fine offers of wealth and homosexuality.

So, what can you expect now, from TCE? MICROSOFT GAME REVIEWS! Neither Me nor Kevyn have an Xbox, but thats alright, because we have the completely bonkers ability of making shit up, just like our pals over at IGN! (By the by, have you ever wondered what IGN must stand for? Must be IGnoraNt!) We will also be part of the design team over at Microsoft, giving helpful input into new ideas for fresh games, such as "Make s'more Burger King games!" and "It's really God damn hot in here!". Other bright ideas we may share with our cohorts include convincing the continually sobbing Peter Molyneux into believing that his shitty Milo thing is only a tech demo and calling the next Halo game This is the Last One Guys, We Are Fucking Serious This is the Last Halo and then make another sequel and call it Haha, You Fucking Dickheads Better Believe Halo Is Back!

But alas, Crogafans, we will keep you posted on the newest situations (or the "Sitch, Wade!") on what is crappening over at Microsoft when we visit our new offices on Saturday. Keep your calendars planned and your dicks in hand!

Mug

Get ready to talk through ya bumholes, you naughty marauders! Crogabond has a new video for you pasty cunts.

LAUGH at the comedy antics of foolish nature!
CLAP for our amazing acting talents being received for your eyes, ears and boners!
SHIT because you need to poo really bad.


ITS THE CROGABOND EXPERIENCE!

The Most Important Thing Anyone Has Ever Done

Fart-tasia

Crogafans, Fastasia double feature on blu-ray.

Now you can buy that, or just watch this:

Because that is the highlight of about 8 hours or something ridiculous.