Wednesday, October 28, 2009

KER-AZY Doctor Steinman

Everyone's favorite, the ever lovable, Doctor "He promised me pretty" Steinman!
Ah, Doctor. You may be dead in our video games, but you are alive in our hearts.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Small Worlds

Short post, I would just like to bring this to everyone's attention. It is purely just a fantastic thing (game wouldn't really be a good word to describe it) that is about the wonder and joy of exploration. The less I say about the better, so go try it. Now.

Also, short update, I think I will continue the Dog-Fighter story. I have a few good ideas in my head for it, but I would like to write some different things before I do.

Sunday, October 18, 2009


On this, the third day of the Official Crogabond Conference, a lot of progress is being made. Due to the amazing public speaking skills of our president, one by the name of Kaatridge (or Big Boss, to those of us genetically engineered soldiers with reptile themed code names) we have managed to secure a very big and extremely profitable deal. Report is as follows.
(Clicking for biggin (by which I mean huge))

Friday, October 16, 2009


The first day of the Official Crogabond Conference is underway, the Conference where we decide where the company is going, and what actions to make to keep our shareholders happy.
As ever it is our job to keep you up to date with the negotiations as they progress, thus here is a report on the first day of Official Discussions.
(Clicky for biggy)

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Dog-Fighter: The Shotgun That Stole But Failed

Zebazutabutita stared Drog down, to which the Mutt replied with a stern growl. They stood several meters away from each other, and stared, both waiting to pounce. I suppose a Dog against a Shotgun is not the fairest of fights. The dog was shaking, intimidated by the large Shotgun, but then summoned the courage to dodge to the lef-BANG. Drog missed the shotgun bullets by a hair. The canine-wonder front-flipped in the air, towards the so-called "Dog-Fighter", stretched out it's front legs, and prayed.

It wasn't always this way. Before, Shotguns lived peacefully with Dogs, and knew each other well, as their continents were right next to each other. What caused this rivalry was Zebazutabutita, also known as "Dog-Fighter". He worked as an underground bounty-hunter, for the Pisstail alliance, a group of assassins that fucking hate the Dogs. Zebazutabutita is not part of this alliance, but he works for them for the cash and the women. He does not get a lot of cocking, you see.

Zebazutabutita has been doing such for years, to which the Dogs have been blaming the Shotguns for murdering their people, which has caused both continents of the country of Hebula to hate each other. Drog is here to fix this shit up.
Drog is a freedom fighter, and the only one in Hebula. He is trying to uncover what actually caused this hatred. After some serious adventures, he has found out that only one Shotgun, "Dog-Fighter" started this, but no one believed him. Now, he is determined to uncover the truth of what actually started all this controversy, while maybe finding some other team mates along the way.

Drog pounced the the barrel of the evil Shotgun, but got shaken off. A split second before Zebazutabutita shot again, Drog did the unthinkable; he did what no other Dog had the guts to do.
He bitch-slapped Dog-Hunter.

Zebazutabutita staggered backwards, and felt his barrel.
"You dented it, you motherfucker!" he screamed. "You fucking dented my barrel!"
Zebazutabutita steaded himself, and went into a battle stance.

"Oh, fuck, it's on now."

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Crogabond Surprizes.

At some point in the near future, good natured man Wayne will receive a very special prize via none other than the Australian Postal Service.
This includes:
  • The original "Geoff the robot with tourettes" comic, with added notes by Kaatridge, which he may one day be able to sell for a bag of chips or something, after convincing a drunk and incredibly gullible man that it is some variety of treasure map.
  • Baldur's Gate as supplied by Kaatridge, and which I know too little to make jokes about.
  • The extra special limited edition Crogabond bonus disc "Songs To Awkwardly Fuck Your Own Mother To" filled with songs by mostly me and with invigorating titles by Kaatridge, our lucky Wayne will soon be dancing to the likes of "Hairy Damn Legs (Short Short Problems)" and "All Chris Tuckered Out (How About You?)" I believe the title of the album contains more swearing than there is on the disc, to your dismay or delight.
  • Also just some padding. It was paper and it had peoples faces on it, but is unrelated.
Wayne won all these wonderful things just by telling us he exists! If you exist, why not tell us so! You may not get this wonderful prize, but services towards the Crogabond may see you being sent the delightful "Songs To Awkwardly Fuck Your Own Mother To" disc, which is sure to have you grooving all night long.
Leave a comment and e-mail with any questions for the Crogabond or declarations of existance. Maybe Wayne will drop us a line sometime when he receives his package! Wouldn't that be nice!

Fun Fact: At $7.20, the postage for Wayne's prize actually cost infinitely more than this website has ever made! Kaatridge tells me one day we might be earning CENTS.


Thank goodness, because if he cuts my pay anymore I will have to give him money to do my job.