Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Crogabond Fan-Mail???

Hey kids, millions of people have already sent in fan-mail to Crogabond! I cannot pick all of you, so here are some;

Dear Crogabond,
How big is your dick?
Julie Summerslideslutcunt

First of all, share some for the rest of the boys. You fucking slut. Secondly, you may not ask about crogabond's dick as it is a sacred beauty, and can never be discussed in the light of day. Also, he is very ashamed about it and is very shy.

yo crogobro

I want to be a hooker when I get older, how do you think I can get into this career????
prince of purrrrsia

Crogabond recommends you suck AS MANY DICKS AS YOU CAN. And then cut their dicks off. Then give them to crogabond.
Crogabond enjoys comparing sizes.

To Crogabond,
my friend is trying to get me to smoke. i really dont want to and i dont think he will like me anymore if i dont. what should i do?
phillips krinkleclit

Crogabond thinks you should consider the answers to the above questions.

Welp, that's one batch of fan-letters! If you want to send in some fan-mail, go fuck yourself. Or send it to legoisgod(ant)gmail(dont)com. Crogabond will wait until then.

But seriously hurry up. He doesn't like waiting that much.

What's a Crogabond?

Look, jeez, c'mon man. You want to ruin all the adeventure?
First of all, let's lay down some ground rules;
  1. Don't ask what a Crogabond is.
  2. Or I will punch you in the lumbar vertebrae.
  3. You can ask what a lumbar vertebrae is,
  4. But I won't tell you. Then I will punch in the balls.
  5. Then you will have to ask what balls are, because you don't have any.
Understood? I will tell you only one thing about the Crogabond; It exists as the coolest thing in the world, and nary a few have glimpsed upon it's glistening form. We are best buds forever, me and Crogabond, usually just chilling at it's summer retreat/dojo atop Mt. Kragtop.
( 6. I'm not telling you where Mt. Kragtop is.)
The Crogabond is everything and nothing, something and sometimes, never and very often.
Crogabond loves you.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Review: The Mario Sprite

I always thought all Mario Sprites were of the highest calibur. Pixel Perfection, from this day. Every time the big N pops out another Mario game, I always admire the charm that is displayed in their sprites, especially their main man Mario's sprite. But... I just don't know about this one.

What is the first thing you think when you see this thing? Mario? I sure as hell don't see our italian plumber in this sprite. Why is his shirt and hair coloured different? Why did Nintendo choose to do this? Who did you want this new palette to appeal to, Nintendo? Well, enough of the questions, lets just take a gander at this imposter.

First of all that putrid green colour has to go. Augh. just looking at it gives me a headache. Also, look at his boots and hands! They're just waaay too big to look normal. Before this I though Nintendo was going in the right direction in the realistic department, but now it looks like they're taking a step into the stupid department. Its like they want to make our favourite plumber look dumb and just plain silly. Kids obviously would not think this character is cool.

There is not the slightest bit of detail in this character. You can't tell what he even is! Whats that? Oh, overalls? Whats that, ah, a moustache? Whats this, oh, a badly developed character!

I'm gonna cut this review short and end is with one word: Dissapointing. I expected more from you, Nintendo. I really did.

The Good
You can stop looking at it.

The Bad
But you have to start looking at it first.



This is our new blog. We will be writing whatever the hell we want here, but there will probably be things about videogames and other crazy stuff that Kevyn and I just come up with. So stay tuned, I guess. If you don't, Crogabond might do the unspeakable.

He will hurt your blood.