Testicular Tuesday

I don't know. I don't know. Claus is my name. Claus Urlande. and my servant's name is Penny Chinklechange. And his servant is called by the name of Pablo Inskrefabio. And he has a servant, and I am trying to recall that guy's name too. I am totally looking at him right now, and drawing a blank. Drinkle... Di... no, whatever. Screw this.

Anyway, we have been stuck in this cave for a long time. Like, super long. It is just totally crazy how long it has been. Do you not believe me? Well okay. Go to your friend. Ask him how long totally long is. What did he answer with? That is how long I have been in here. Your friend would know, he is a pretty smart guy. Anyway, a long time. Months, years...

Days even!

I may say this, but we are going pretty okay in here. We talk, play games we make up, and talk about how hot that stick next to the big stone is. Pablo may think she has fallen for him, but she is totally right up my alley. Jeepers, look at her. Bark as brown as, uh, bark.

As for food, we have some of that. Gravel, sticks, oil and some inexplicable liquid makes up our day. May not sound appetizing, but it keeps me thin like a bottle of gin, depending if the bottle of gin is quite thin, and not like a big jug. If it was a big jug, that would be pretty awkward.
Also, Stick-next-to-big-rock's sisters are for the eating too, if you know what I mean! Rawrrr!

They are delicious.

Oh god, That Guy is trying to start a cult following again. Too bad he is but a butler of a butler of a butler. Haha! Being rich rules.

Anyway, I will have to cut this short. Tonight may be the night I will have a date with Stick-next-to-the-big-rock! I just have to talk to her about the whole eating-her-sisters thing. That would be awkward.


XOXO
Claus Urlande