What's a Crogabond?

Look, jeez, c'mon man. You want to ruin all the adeventure?
First of all, let's lay down some ground rules;

1. Don't ask what a Crogabond is.
2. Or I will punch you in the lumbar vertebrae.
3. You can ask what a lumbar vertebrae is,
4. But I won't tell you. Then I will punch in the balls.
5. Then you will have to ask what balls are, because you don't have any.

Understood? I will tell you only one thing about the Crogabond; It exists as the coolest thing in the world, and nary a few have glimpsed upon it's glistening form. We are best buds forever, me and Crogabond, usually just chilling at it's summer retreat/dojo atop Mt. Kragtop.
( 6. I'm not telling you where Mt. Kragtop is.)
The Crogabond is everything and nothing, something and sometimes, never and very often.
Crogabond loves you.