MORE REALISM IN VIDEOGAMES???

Friends. I come to you today with some controversial news. See, games are getting very realistic today, good examples of realism come from the "Call Of Duty" and "Pokémon" series of video games. But couldn't we make them better. Couldn't we make them more real?

I would like to see penises, and more importantly, "boners" to be used in videogames. This will get gaming even closer to a new generation of the hardware. I mean, we all do it - even you, ladies! - so why aren't they in videogames? RIDDLE ME THIS, DEVELOPERS! If Mario is really human, if he was really real, man, and hit us close to home with his realistic nature that shows that he is really only a man, then why don't we ever see him get a chubby? He should fuck Princess Peach. Why hasn't he fucked Princess Peach? These are the questions that Gamers rack their minds over every hour of every day. I think, and I think I stand for gaming culture and the society of Gamers as a whole because I am a journalist, that developers should ease our worried minds.

If parents complain, fuck them. They have never played Metal Gear Solid. They don't know what it's like to be a Gamer. It's tough motherfucking shit, man. I say that kids should buy the games not knowing boners are involved to teach them more about life. The kids need to learn about what they are up against. We must inform the people, Gamers. Together as one.